joleny vi

PAIN…

that i could not endure

keeps haunting my poor bruised heart

longing for something out of nothing

waiting for something that will never come!

my heart bled with hope..

if only the sun shots itself down

i’ll be glad to make its pyre

down the cold grove of the valley

of cimmerian waves that never come..

o peace!that evaded me!

please waft me in your breeze

look at me solidly in the eye

to calm this flighty, driven heart.

that asks everything from nothing..

if only eyes could bled what the heart’s mirrors lies

if only tears could seep from pores kept in eons shut

if only heart’s aches could beat a river’s winding ways

if only anguish is heard from the sky overhead

if only… if only…

four slow months has but gone by

but still, this heart refuses to forget

trying hard was not on doubt.

but the heart is…

the heart is…

damn!!! ’tis what life is?

a life full of gnashing of inner pains

of hopes found untrue

of heartless lovers unheeding you?

if that is real life?

God, what is happiness???

hey, my mom told me that turning 21 means that you gotta be
responsible to yourself.. y’know legal age and all
that hoopla..

but what does it really mean?

is 21 synonymous with responsibility?
that you got you’re own life to lead..?
that you hafta to take on the responsibilty for
yourself?

im not sure that being 21 means acquiring all
those new found maturity suddenly..

right now, im in the peak of my life..
im 21…
im ready to indulge myself intro this sudden
legality…
of formality…
of the novelty..
only this age can afford..

but why the heck am i this lonely?

is this new-found confidence

this self-awareness

this exhilirating sense of freedom?
not a liberty at all?

or could it be a liberty?
a liberty that is both a drudgery?

life aint a clear piece of matter
life is a convoluted mess of confusion and
gawkiness
and i dont know whether this path im taking
is a path towards the precipice of nowhere…
or to the golden of somewhere..

haaahhh…
21..
thats a mighty scary number…
hope i can outlive the novelty..
and achieve consistency..

but the only thing I can say is…

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
so CARPE DIEM!

seize all what life can offer to us!!!